Girl on the Swing

*My exasperated blog-persona nags me in the middle of the night, in the morning, and all day long to publish that post* 

Me: Alright, then. Okay. Fine. I'm going, I'm doing it right now.

This post has been sitting in my queue for almost a month, and I haven't posted it. It has been finished, all I've had to do is click the "publish" button. Well anyway, here it is now.

❦

 The world doesn't tell you very often to be yourself, except in that wonderfully insincere, cliché way on posters. Society never really means it. You have to read for the subtext: "Be yourself (but not in any way that contradicts the accepted norms)". Even the people we love sometimes don't accept us for who we are. I get tired of it, and I get tired of fighting it every waking moment. 

I believe that I am the way I am. I believe that I should be able to be comfortable in the way I am. I believe that the world shouldn't bother itself about how different I am. 

But sometimes, I go against my principles. Sometimes I have to convince myself that it's okay to be different. Sometimes the world goes out of its way to put me down.

I suppose I'm trying to say: "World, I'm tired of this. I believe in better."

"I am resolved to act in that manner which will, in my own opinion, constitute my happiness, without reference to you."

So, that's what this is about, World. It's about me, and I hope it will help you to understand why I am ineffably, unassailably, indomitably my strange, beautiful self. ("Get used to disappointment.")

I am the girl on the swing:

I am the girl on the swing, 

I know I'm silly, 

and let my sensibilities carry me away quite frequently. 

I know you don't like silly,

and you'll always shoot the dreamers down.

I've tried to repress

my silliness,

but that was wrong.

I am the girl on the swing,

I know I'm crazy,

but thank you for reminding me.

I know that's not what you do,

but I do things differently.

I am the girl on the swing,

and I climb trees too.

I follow my heart

to where it sits above you.

I love the wind

and the trees speak the language of my soul.

I am the girl on the swing,

but don't you dare think I'm naive. 

I've been through sorrows and struggles that no one will ever know, 

because I can't express them to you; 

you will judge me, 

but never as harshly as I have judged myself.

I am the girl on the swing,

and I remember all the best times,

and the bad ones too;

sometimes they make me cry,

out of the blue,

out of nothing,

save the memory of being hurt,

or being wrong.

I am the girl on the swing,

I read of the magic,

and learn it,

and store it inside myself.

I know my power,

though no one else does.

I am the girl on the swing,

I can even teach my elders something,

because they never learned

how to defy you,

only to survive, not to live.

I am the girl on the swing,

don't step in front of me;

you'll get kicked over,

even if I don't try.

I am the girl on the swing,

and I can fly without wings.